Slytherin Skills
by LadyDrake
Summary: Snape seems a little sad. There's a beautiful new DADA professor. Hermione and Ginny are determined to help out--using any means necessary.
1. Meet Rosalind Drake

**Note** This is my first fanfic, and I have no beta reader! Be merciful! I just thought it would be fun to try my hand at this...   
  
  
"Oh, Merlin help me!" gasped Ron Weasley as he stared at the mysterious woman who sat at the head table. Hermione glared at him, and he immediately looked ashamed. Harry shook his head, a knowing look on his face. They were beginning their sixth year at Hogwarts and Ron had to get his nerve up sometime-even if he needed a little help from his best friend.  
  
Still, there was no denying it. The woman who had caught Ron's attention was fantastically beautiful. Her reddish hair and pale skin were striking even from a distance-Draco Malfoy himself was finding it difficult to keep his eyes off of her. Poor Neville Longbottom could barely breathe for minutes after he'd locked eyes with her as she scanned the room. He was now stammering something about how her eyes were like sapphires, his face red and eyes wide.  
  
"And she's sitting next to Snape, of all people!" moaned Ron, which caused Ginny to laugh.  
  
"Maybe she'll be good for him!" she snickered as Snape sent the newcomer one of his trademark sneers, receiving a smirk in return. Hermione noted this too, and bit back a laugh.   
  
"So, what pranks are we going to play this year?" Ron was excited about causing mischief already. "Fred and George want me to carry on the Weasley traditions, and sent me off with tons of suggestions this year..."  
  
"Well, I know you'll be surprised, but I had a few ideas myself." Harry and Ron stared openmouthed at a beaming Hermione. "Ginny wants in, too." The boys nodded, dumbfounded.   
  
"Anyway," Hermione declared imperiously, "My parents let me turn our basement into a lab-and I developed this really cool invisibility potion. I can become invisible at will! Watch!" Her friends gasped when she held her hand out, seeming to make it flicker in and out of existence. "Wicked!" Ron whispered, blushing when Hermione smiled at him. "Now we can't all get caught at once!" gasped Harry.   
  
"Well," Hermione continued. "Ginny and I were thinking--"  
  
"That Snape's dungeon could use a little... redecorating," Ginny finished. "And we wanted to ask you which color you thought was more Snape-ish: lavender or pastel pink?" Ron and Harry were still shocked, but now they were beginning to laugh.   
  
"Hermione, what's come over you?" Ron asked impulsively. Hermione just winked and said, "It's not as if anyone would suspect me anyway..." Her innocent look brought out even more laughs. The year was off to a good start.   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Snape was miserably hoping for the Sorting Ceremony to begin-he intended to leave immediately afterwards. Rosalind Drake was beautiful and fate had been cruel in placing him next to her. Drake's beauty only made him dislike her more. The fact that she matched him sneer for sneer was quite another matter-it made him loathe her. One would never expect such feistiness of such an amiable woman-she was currently chatting quite happily with Sprout, McGonagall, and Flitwick. Trelawney had whipped out her tarot cards and was trying to get Rosalind to hear her fortune. All Snape could think was, "THIS is the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher???"   
  
Trelawney was now putting away her cards and pulling out a crystal ball. Watching out of the corner of his eye, Snape was surprised to see her handing her precious possession to Rosalind, who obviously knew what she was doing with it. Placing it in front of her, Rosalind looked at everyone appraisingly. Snape felt her eyes settle on him, and knew he had been singled out.  
  
"I think I'll read... Professor Snape's future," she snickered. He rolled his eyes at her, which only made her laugh. Peering into the crystal's depths, her blue eyes seemed to cloud in concentration, only broken long enough for her to wink at Trelawney, who cackled evilly.   
  
"Oh, Professor Snape," gasped Rosalind. "I'm so sorry..." she began to shake and look alarmed. "I see so many cute and furry animals! And you're petting them and... giggling!" McGonagall snickered. "Professor!" Rosalind was now looking positively alarmed. "You've become addicted to a Muggle program-Martha Stewart Living! Now you're putting fresh flowers in your classroom to make it look more homey... and you're teaching the kids to brew their own cosmetics and skin cleansers... and your hair! YOUR HAIR!" Everyone had their hands in front of their mouths now, trying not to smile. Even Dumbledore was having to use considerable effort to keep his face straight.   
  
"Professor Snape," Rosalind, still keeping up her act, allowed her eyes to go wide. "Your robes... they're... mint green! And you've just won the most charming smile award six times in a row! That's enough to beat out Gilderoy Lockhart..." Snapping out of her "trance," Rosalind looked up at Snape wide-eyed.   
  
"You poor man!" she gasped, feigning sympathy.Her innocent look was just too much. No one could hold it in anymore. Every teacher at that table was laughing except for Snape. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, and Trelawney made a remark about Rosalind being a girl after her own heart. McGonagall was patting Rosalind's shoulder in a motherly fashion, laughing harder than Snape had ever imagined she could. Rosalind just smiled, slightly embarrassed.   
  
"Aww... come on Severus!" Hooch elbowed him none-too-gently in the ribs. "Be a sport-the look on your face was absolutely priceless!" Snape's jaw tensed and he sent glares at everyone around him. He noticed Harry and his friends staring at the teachers curiously from the Gryffindor table, and Snape gave them a look so malicious even Harry shuddered.  
  
Finally, Dumbledore showed some mercy and tapped on his glass. The Sorting Hat was placed on its stool of honor, and the ceremony passed quickly. There was an unusually small number of first years to sort, and before long Dumbledore was going through his long-winded welcoming speech. When that drew to a close, Dumbledore motioned for Rosalind to stand.  
  
"Students, it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you Professor Rosalind Drake. She'll be teaching you Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I expect you'll learn much from her. Do make her welcome. You can find her in the dungeons, which I'm sure our beloved Professor Snape will be delighted to share with her." A few snickers made their way out of the audience, and then the students began to clap for Professor Drake, who blushed when a few of the braver boys let out catcalls.  
  
"Now, let's eat!" smiled Dumbledore, and both students and staff attacked their food viciously. Snape ate a few token bites, and then made his escape. Hermione and Ginny watched as he stalked out of the Great Hall, obviously angry already. It hadn't taken long.  
  
"You know," Ginny sighed. "I bet he's really lonely. It's too bad he's such a bastard and won't let anyone be nice to him."   
  
"Maybe we should try to beat him at his own game-surreptitiously of course." Hermione grinned. "I've been practicing my Slytherin skills over the summer." Ginny laughed. "You know how he likes Slytherins! You think we can turn Ron and Harry into subtle and cunning manipulators?" Ginny shook her head. "Girls are always better at that sort of thing." Hermione agreed.  
  
"So," Hermione whispered. "I've decided that we should decorate with a combination of pastel pink and periwinkle! Are you with me?" Ginny snorted in a most unladylike fashion, unable to control herself. Soon the girls were giggling hysterically, and unable to explain themselves to Harry and Ron through their laughter.   
  
"Girls," sighed Ron melodramatically. Harry only nodded and rolled his eyes, agreeing. 


	2. The Challenge

Rosalind had never been happier than she was at Hogwarts. Not only did her students seem to like her (especially the boys), but the other professors apparently did as well. She had already promised Hagrid and Flitwick dances at the Halloween ball, and even Dumbledore seemed to enjoy dropping in on her periodically. McGonagall was her mentor; Sprout, Hooch and Trelawney were her eccentric but lovable friends. In fact, Rosalind noticed that only one professor seemed to want nothing to do with her: Severus Snape. She wasn't sure whether she was offended by or grateful for the fact that Snape avoided her like the plague. Rosalind had come to enjoy talking to him-more like insulting him-whenever they DID meet. It got under his skin when he couldn't unnerve her, and Rosalind relished his discomfort. The students had come to refer to their arguments as "wit wars," and loved to witness their verbal sparring. Even other professors enjoyed the spectacle- especially at staff meetings.  
  
The students were a reward to Rosalind in themselves. After spending four years as an auror, she had been ready to slow down for quite some time. Besides, who would be more appropriate for a position teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts? She'd defended herself multiple times-and had even dabbled in the Dark Arts herself in her youth. Perhaps Snape would have been good for the position, but parents would definitely have a problem with a former Death Eater teaching that type of subject matter to their children. As she pondered this, Rosalind accidentally rounded a corner without looking, crashing into (of all people!) Professor Snape.  
  
"Watch where you're going, woman!" he snarled, brushing past her.  
  
"What, Snape, is it that time of the month again? You could have at least asked me if I was hurt..."  
  
"For your information, I am not particularly concerned with your health, Professor Drake."  
  
"I guess your time of the month is a constant condition for you..."  
  
"Only when you're here, I assure you." Snape fixed her with his most malicious gaze and tried with all his will to make her leave him alone.  
  
"I never knew I had such an effect on people!" Rosalind cried melodramatically.  
  
"Yes, you do have quite an effect on me. If you'll excuse me I need to puke my guts out."  
  
"Make sure to hold your hair out of the way! I can't imagine what would happen if you had to wash it..." She gasped mockingly, her voice dripping with sarcasm.  
  
"I didn't know you cared, Professor," he growled and stalked away, almost bumping into an invisible Hermione.  
  
"God, she's beautiful," he whispered to himself as he moved away, and Hermione barely stifled a giggle. Sneaking behind Professor Drake, she reappeared and tapped her on the shoulder.  
  
"Really, Professor Drake," she smiled when Rosalind jumped, frightened. "One would think that if you could handle Snape nothing could scare you!"  
  
"Oh, be quiet!" laughed Rosalind. "Have you been reading any good books lately?"  
  
"I finished the last Shakespeare play I had left. I've now read all of his works! My last one was my favorite, too-so funny!"  
  
"Which one was it?"  
  
"It was Much Ado About Nothing," Hermione beamed. "My favorite parts are the ones with Beatrice and Benedick going after each other. It's absolutely ingenious!"  
  
"Yes, yes, Beatrice always was my own favorite." Rosalind suddenly got a distant look in her eyes, and Hermione took the opportunity to test the waters.  
  
"So, Professor Drake... what's up with you and Snape?" she asked, innocently. Rosalind looked confused, then horrified, then excited, and then like she didn't know what to feel. Hermione laughed. "The look on your face, Professor! It's priceless! Don't worry, I think he likes you, too!"  
  
"Wait, I don't like him! He's a bastard!" Rosalind looked angry for a moment. "Besides, he does NOT like me! How could he? Hey... do you really think he likes me?" she whispered. Hermione's heart leapt-she'd taken the bait!  
  
"I'll see you later, Professor," Hermione said as she went back to the common room to find Ginny, breaking into a run the moment no one was around. Rosalind looked after her student, a bewildered look on her face.  
  
~~~~ Hermione dashed into the common room to find Ginny, beaming. Practically dragging Ginny to her room, Hermione immediately slammed the door, cast a silencing charm, and began to talk quickly and excitedly.  
  
"Ginny, we were right! I think Professor Drake has a crush on Snape! And I know he thinks she's beautiful-he whispered that to himself as he passed me in the hall! And you've seen the way he looks at her when he thinks no one is noticing!"  
  
"They'll never get together though! Who in their right mind would date Snape? And how could they get him to confess his feelings, even if he had them?"  
  
"Yeah, but maybe they can acknowledge their feelings with a little... help!" Ginny frowned at this, suspicious.  
  
"What kind of help?" Hermione grinned mischievously. "Our help!"  
  
"Oh no! How are we going to help them?"  
  
"How to Slytherins get what they want?"  
  
"Through any means necessary. Everyone knows that. But what does it have to do with-OH! I GET IT! You have a plan already, don't you?"  
  
"Well... yeah. It's kind of manipulative and dishonest, but I'm absolutely positive that it will work! It's not like it'll hurt anybody. Snape is never going to know what hit him!" Ginny shook her head. Hermione was full of ideas these days. "Besides," she added, "Even if they don't become friends, it'll be damn funny trying to get them that way."  
  
When the mail came the next day, both Rosalind and Snape received very mysterious black envelopes, but because they weren't in the habit of examining each other's mail, the similarity went unnoticed. Snape opened his letters in a leisurely fashion, saving the black one for last. Almost gently, he opened the note and read for a moment. Soon he was scowling, obviously annoyed. The letter read:  
  
SS (Although BS would be more appropriate for you),  
  
Let's settle this over a game of Wizard's Chess. Your tongue is fast, but is your brain? If I win, I choose my own prize (within reason, of course). If you win, you choose yours-but don't get your hopes up. Meet me in your classroom after dinner-mine is packed with students at that time, and we both know all about your reaction to students.  
  
Good luck! You're going to need it. --- RD  
  
Rosalind opened her mail a little later, and had received a similar challenge. Soon she and Snape were glaring at each other viciously across the table, and Rosalind mouthed to him, "you're on." The professors just looked at each other, confused. No one noticed the two Gryffindor girls looking triumphant. Their plan had worked! They would, of course, be silent spectators that night. When it came to entertainment value, this chess game would eclipse all of Harry's and Ron's put together! 


	3. Stalemate

After dinner that night, Ginny and Hermione were the first to leave the Great Hall, sneaking into the potions classroom to get good seats. Quickly, Hermione cast the Exaudio charm so that she and Ginny could communicate silently during the game. Settling down in some choice desks, the two girls winked out of sight just as Snape burst into the room.  
  
This potion RULES, said Hermione, her voice invading the space in the back of Ginny's mind. Snape used his wand to pull over the desk right next to Ginny's, and summoned chairs to go on either side of it. He murmured another spell and an antique chessboard materialized. As the pieces took their places, they screamed insults at each other mercilessly. Hermione could hear Ginny's laughter in her head.  
  
Moments later, Rosalind entered, and Snape grinned at her menacingly.  
  
"Ah, so you did show up!" he hissed. "Are you sure you want to go through with this, Professor Drake? When I win, the prize I'll demand from you will not be very pleasant."  
  
"Let's play," Rosalind growled, her eyes narrowing. The pieces let out vicious battle cries, and one knight even began a Braveheart speech.  
  
"I'll be black," Snape declared, and the black king bowed to him respectfully. "You don't have to give me any advantages, Snape," Rosalind snapped.  
  
"Oh, believe me, I'd never dream of making this easier for you. Watching you suffer will be all too enjoyable." The two professors took their places and the game began, already moving at a violent pace.  
  
"This set must be very old," Rosalind remarked as she took one of Snape's pawns. "These pieces have such wonderful personalities!"  
  
"Too bad you can't follow their example," Snape remarked as he captured her knight. Rosalind snorted rudely and said, "Well, you're one to talk-you're quite the ball of sunshine, aren't you?" One of Snape's own knights was now disabled.  
  
"Professor Drake, really. The next time you call me a ball of sunshine."  
  
"Call me Rosalind. It's irritating to bother with formalities while playing chess." Another piece went down. The queens were now screaming at each other across the chessboard, and eventually turned on the players.  
  
"Merlin, girl, can't you stop flirting with the man and beat him to a bloody pulp?" The white queen shook her fist, suddenly not looking very dignified. Rosalind looked appropriately humiliated, and Snape laughed at her evilly.  
  
"Oh, don't even start, sonny!" his own queen snapped. "You are even worse than she is! She's reduced you to a ball of mush! I've never seen you play so leniently!" Snape was immediately silenced, and it was Rosalind's turn to laugh. Then the two professors looked at each other for a moment, their discomfort almost tangible. Suddenly, Snape made his move and they seemed to pretend that nothing had happened.  
  
Looks like the chess pieces are on our side! Ginny placed her hand over her mouth to avoid laughing. Hermione replied, I'm not hearing any denials from our teachers, either! Hahaha!" After a few moments' indulgence in silent conversation, the girls were startled by a groan from the chessboard.  
  
"You fool!" squeaked one of the Kings. "It's a stalemate! We wanted a bloody fight to the death!" Rosalind laughed, and shockingly, so did Snape.  
  
"But no one has won!" cried Rosalind. "Who will win the prize, and what will it be?"  
  
"I believe your prize should be something possibly seen either as a punishment or as a reward." Both teachers turned their heads to see Dumbledore, who had sneaked in on them, eyes twinkling. Stealing a quick, bemused glance in the direction of the invisible girls, he continued. "Why don't you take her to the Halloween Ball, Severus? I'm sure you two can think up some. suitable. costumes."  
  
"Oh, yes," Snape rolled his eyes. "I'll be a vampire and she can be that woman on Muggle TV. what is it. Buffy?"  
  
"I could be the innocent virgin victim, if you prefer!" Rosalind clasped her hands and gazed piously towards Heaven. Snape coughed rudely.  
  
"You? An innocent? Innocent my--" He paused. Rosalind had a strange glowing crystal in her hand, and was smirking at him. "Hey. what is that?"  
  
"Catch!" Rosalind yelled, tossing it at him. Snape nearly panicked, but managed to snatch the crystal out of the air. It suddenly started glowing in his hands. He looked up at her. "Rosalind? What does this glowing mean?" Dumbledore discreetly placed a hand in front of his mouth to hide his smile.  
  
"It means. it means you're a VIRGIN!" Rosalind howled, nearly falling out of her chair. Snape glared at the crystal angrily. OH MY GOD! Hermione screamed, nearly giving Ginny a migraine. VIRGINAL SNAPE!  
  
Snape was now deathly pale. "Why don't I see if a bloody unicorn will lay its head in my lap then? At least it would be better company than you." He was absolutely livid, upsetting his chair when he suddenly stood and made to stalk from the room.  
  
"Severus, wait!" Rosalind cried. "Don't go! It's alright, I just think it's sort of. sweet! Just. calm down!" Snape was even angrier now. "Sweet?" he bellowed. "I am NOT--"  
  
"Severus!" Dumbledore's voice immediately startled him into silence, calling the attention of all parties present, visible or not. "Severus, calm down. Rosalind, let him be for tonight. However. I expect to see you together on Halloween-and I expect you to dance until your feet hurt, unless you want to go out into the courtyard like students and indulge in. other activities." His eyes twinkled as Snape glowered at him. Dumbledore opened the door, leaving it open wide and nodding surreptitiously to Hermione and Ginny, who took their cue. As the scurried down the hall, they heard Dumbledore make his parting shot behind them.  
  
"And Severus? You are a much stronger man than I. You must have an iron will. Truly, I'm impressed." He winked at the stunned professors and exited dramatically.  
  
Slipping past a protesting, half-asleep Fat Lady, Hermione and Ginny leapt through the portrait and into their common room, where they flopped on the couch, flushed and panting. The adrenaline rush was coming to an end, and they both felt a sort of sleepy contentment. They looked at each other, laughing nervously.  
  
"My God, that was close!" gasped Hermione. "I thought Dumbledore was going to give us away for a moment. we are so lucky."  
  
"Those chess pieces seem to be part of our little conspiracy, though!" Ginny laughed. "I've never seen Snape look embarrassed before! And can you believe he's a virgin?"  
  
"Dumbledore was in on it too! You saw what he ordered them to do. and what he suggested! You don't think." They were silent for a moment. Ginny blurted, "Yes! I DO think! There are other people trying to achieve the same goal that we are! We just aren't working together!"  
  
"It doesn't get any better than this!" squeaked Hermione. "I have even more ideas, now!" "You know what their costumes should be?" Ginny smiled. "I think they should be Hades and Persephone! Like the myth!" Hermione's eyes widened, and she exclaimed, "That's BRILLIANT!"  
  
"But," Ginny's brow crinkled. "How are we going to suggest their costumes without them knowing we were there tonight?"  
  
"Are you still up for decorating the dungeons? I know of someone who can help, and Mischief Night is only two days away." 


	4. Dungeon Makeover

The next day, two days before Halloween, Ginny and Hermione were spotted making mysterious visits to multiple professors, all of which refused to comment as to the nature of their meetings. It is known, however, that Professor Flitwick lent the girls his black robes, and Trelawney lent them green ones. Professor Sprout was more than happy to give the girls two of her prized laurels. After gathering such questionable equipment, the girls were seen sneaking into Professor McGonagall's office, claiming to seek help on a "special transfiguration experiment." Just after curfew that evening, they were seen actually conversing with Peeves, their voices hushed and excited. Each and every party involved refuses to speak on the subject to this very day, as all were sworn to secrecy. The girls made a point not to visit Professor Drake and Professor Snape.   
  
On mischief night, that legendary night before Halloween during which pranks of the very worst (and best) sort are pulled, there was an emergency staff meeting called by Professor Dumbledore, who wanted to discuss the Halloween Ball. Although all parties interviewed believe their doors must have simply been left unlocked, Snape and Drake still accuse Peeves of having broken into their classrooms that night. The world may never know the absolute truth about who and what caused the incident, but the aftermath of the so-called "Dungeon Makeover" will forever go down in Hogwarts history. Even the house elves refuse to speak, claiming that their promise to keep that night's secrets is unbreakable. They will, however, admit to having heard footsteps and giggles, despite the fact that they could see no one. Peeves is also rumored to have been talking to invisible voices, although many speculate that such behavior was just another one of his pranks.   
  
Late in the evening on mischief night, the entire Hogwarts staff congregated in Snape's classroom in response to the uproar that had occurred there moments ago. Snape was roaring furiously and stamping around his room, desperately trying to charm it all away. Unfortunately, even the most powerful magic cannot dispel Mischief Night trickery, which automatically cleans itself up at the stroke of midnight on Halloween, signaling the beginning of November. Blaring through the dungeons, now permeated by the beautiful smell of magnolias, was the voice of Madonna, singing a song familiar to all of the Muggle world.   
  
"I made it through the wilderness. You know I made it through--- I didn't know how lost I was until I found you!" Snape was fuming, desperately trying to silence the irritating song, but to no avail. The harder he tried, the louder it got.   
  
"Like a virgin! Touched for the very first time! Like a viiiiirgin!" Finally, after many moments of Madonna turning everyone's brains to mush, Snape admitted defeat and accepted that he could not get rid of the music. Immediately, it softened to a noticeable but significantly more tolerable background tone. Now Snape--and the entire Hogwarts staff--found it possible to actually see just what had happened to the classroom. It wasn't much better than the Madonna, and there was nothing Snape could do about it for twenty four hours. He was so outraged that he didn't sense the presence of two invisible girls trapped in the back corner. The staff meeting had ended just a bit earlier than Dumbledore had intended.   
  
The room looked as though a disgustingly motivational kindergarten teacher had turned into an interior decorator. Pastel colored ribbon hung from the ceiling to the floor, making it a real pain to move around the room. The desks were periwinkle, and the cauldrons were decorated like obscene Easter eggs. Snape scowled at the posters of cute, fuzzy animals adorning the walls, accompanied by cheap educational slogans like "Catch a Dream," "Do Your Best!" and the all-time classroom favorite, "What is Right is Not Always Popular. What is Popular is Not Always Right." For the first time in his life, Snape thought he was really going to lose his dinner in sheer horror. It didn't get any better once he looked at his desk: his quills were pink and puffy, and his ink was now lavender with little sparkles. There were flowers and stuffed animals decorating the desktop, as well as a gaudy, shiny apple. Snape felt his guts wrench when he looked at his books: they had been perverted and transformed into such masterpieces as "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus," "The Ten Commandments of Love," and "The Complete Works of Gilderoy Lockhart."   
Snape silently prayed to whatever deity was out there that his books would return to normal. All the while, no one could shake the dulcet tones of "Like a Virgin" crooning in the background.   
  
  
Finally Snape whirled around to face the chalkboard, now equipped with deep purple chalk. On the board was the word, "HADES." Draped over the back of his chair was a fitted black robe, fantastically embroidered with shimmering silver thread. Accompanying it was a crown of black pearls (transfigured, of course), an onyx ring, and a rather large bottle of shampoo.  
  
"I wonder who thought this up?" mused Professor McGonagall, managing to keep a straight face. Professor Sprout just smirked, and Dumbledore's hand once again flew in front of his mouth to hide his grin. As Snape stood fuming, they heard a shriek from down the hall. Instantly, everyone dashed to Rosalind's classroom, giving the invisible girls just enough time to slip out of the classroom. Now a new smell was invading the dungeons--a foul smell that no one cared to name, mixed with mildew. Rosalind's entire classroom had been darkened, and her walls were adorned with chains. The chairs looked like medieval torture devices, and all of the cauldrons now looked like gigantic hollow skulls. Professor Drake's quills looked like bony fingers, and her inkwell was also a skull, filled with blood red ink. Her books had acquired titles like "Dom or Sub?," "Bondage In the Wizarding World," and "The Complete Works of the Marquis de Sade." Her room's music for the day was Chopin's Funeral March.   
  
Her board, too, carried a message, written in blood red chalk. It read, "PERSEPHONE." Draped over the back of her chair was a gorgeous green robe, lined with flowers. She received a smaller crown of black pearls, the feminine version of Snape's, and a hollowed-out pomegranate containing six seeds and instructions for the use of the contraceptus charm. Her face was red enough to rival a tomato, and Dumbledore's eyes twinkled merrily.   
  
"Those robes are gorgeous. I do wonder where they came from!" Trelawney smirked covertly at Flitwick, whose laugh was hastily converted to a cough.  
  
"Sorry," he muttered. "It's just a little stuffy down here." The mournful strains of Chopin merged poorly with the Madonna, providing enough confusing sounds to cover up the skittering of invisible feet. However, it couldn't quite drown out Peeves's wicked laughter as it echoed through Hogwarts, a true celebration of Mischief Night.   
  
  
  
**NOTE** Hey everyone! Having fun yet? I really appreciate all of my reviews! You guys are all so encouraging! Just remember: this is all in good fun! 


	5. Halloween

The next day, the Slytherin-Gryffindor sixth year Potions class was absolutely priceless. For the first time in Hogwarts history, other students actually made excuses to go and visit Professor Snape. Upon entering the room, Harry and Ron looked like small children on Christmas. Gleefully they fought their way through the hanging ribbons to their back table, admiring their blue and green cauldron. Draco was looking at his pink and purple one as though it were one of the bowls Madam Pomfrey gave to sick people in the infirmary.  
  
"Bloody brilliant!" Ron gasped. "Whoever did this is my hero!" Hermione grinned at him and winked. He and Harry looked at each other, then back at Hermione, speechless.  
  
"You. YOU!" Harry stammered. Hermione shushed him nervously. "Be quiet! Ginny and I will tell you both all about it later!" Ron's eyes opened even wider, if such a thing was possible.  
  
"You've corrupted Ginny, too?" Ron grinned. "Oh, 'Mione, you've made me so proud! Harry, our little girls are lightening up!" Their laughter was cut short abruptly when Snape burst into the room.  
  
"I've just had a little chat with Peeves," he snarled. "And I know for a fact that one of you is responsible for this--" he gestured wildly around the room. "This vandalism." He moved to the middle of the room, his shadowy persona looking almost comical as it glided through the happy-go-lucky classroom. "Now," he whispered, somehow projecting his silky voice into every corner of the dungeon. "I suggest that whoever broke into my classroom last night steps forward now, because I'm of a mind to dose you all with veritaserum and interrogate you personally. Believe me, it won't be pretty." Hermione kept her face blank and looked at people around her curiously, as she would have done anyway.  
  
"Mister Potter," growled Snape, gliding to stand over Harry. "Perhaps you had a hand in this? These decorations seem to be to your taste." Harry could only look up and shake his head, his eyes betraying his innocence so clearly that even Snape couldn't find any reason to torment the boy further. Cocking his head, he moved to stand over Hermione.  
  
"Ah, Miss Granger. Perhaps our star student, who knows so much about so many things, might know a little something about this situation as well?" Hermione looked indignantly at him, and folded her arms defiantly.  
  
"Professor Snape, I've done nothing in the past to warrant your suspicion, and I have no appreciation for this insult to my integrity." Snape sneered at her, hiding his confusion admirably. Miss Granger's argument rang true but something about her eyes led him to believe otherwise. He opened his mouth to say something when Hermione-of all people!-smirked at him. His surprise doubled when she spoke again.  
  
"By the way Professor," she asked innocently. "Is that Madonna's 'Like a Virgin' playing?" she tilted her head, listening. "I didn't know you liked muggle music." Snape wasn't about to go down that road, and so he was forced to retreat. But he looked at Hermione for one more moment, and nodded in a way that communicated-much to Hermione's surprise-respect. She smiled, for the first time feeling completely successful in Snape's class.  
  
Rosalind was a much better sport about the whole situation. "It'll be gone all on its own come midnight, and the look on Snape's face when he saw his own room made it all worthwhile!"  
  
The Halloween Ball that night was an immense success for all parties involved. Hermione and Ron went as an angel and a devil, while Harry and Ginny went as a knight and a maiden. Nothing, however, could have prepared Hermione and Ginny for Snape.  
  
He walked in, Rosalind on his arm, looking for all the world like the dark God he was dressed as that night. Flitwick's robes, though they had been so small, now fit him beautifully. His eyes glittered and his robes flowed majestically. He exuded power, confidence, grace-and he was damned sexy.  
  
Rosalind, too, looked phenomenal. She contrasted beautifully with Snape, her red hair shining and her blue eyes blazing entrancingly from her face. Dumbledore nodded at the pair, and motioned for them to dance. Hermione and Ginny giggled as the professors obliged him, their heads unusually close together. Ginny pointed out that they were whispering to each other.  
  
Snape and Rosalind were having the time of their lives. Even dancing together wasn't so bad.  
  
"You look handsome, for once," Rosalind whispered. "I knew you had it in you!"  
  
"And you are dazzling, I'll admit," he replied, laughter rumbling in his chest. "How was your room today, by the way?"  
  
"Excellent. I'll have to read some more de Sade sometime."  
  
"Mine was horrendous. If I see another puppy or kitten today, I'm going to set it on fire. And I've never had so many students visit me for no good reason."  
  
"That's terrible!" Rosalind cried, feigning anger. "You know, you're really not so bad. I'm sorry I was so nasty to you. I'm really not a mean person."  
  
"Don't worry about it. It's I who was the nasty one. That's the closest you'll get to an apology-I'm not good at them and they're very rare from me in any form."  
  
"I understand. You just got my first apology in twenty years-appreciate it!" They danced for another moment, and Rosalind asked, "Severus? Does this mean we're friends now? I think that's what everyone has been getting at, anyway."  
  
"Yes, Rosalind. I suppose we are friends. But be warned-I'm not a very good one."  
  
"You'll learn, Severus," she laughed. "Especially now that I have to teach you." 


	6. Skills Acknowledged

A month or so after winter break, Hermione was rushing out of Potions as usual when Snape's icy voice stopped her in her tracks.  
  
"Miss Granger? A word, please? I'd like to see you in my office." Meekly, Hermione followed him into the dark, cluttered room and stood nervously in front of his desk.  
  
"Sit," he said, glaring. Hermione sat. "I need to talk to you. It seems you've acquired some new and very interesting personality traits. I wanted to let you know that you've redeemed your Gryffindor self in my eyes through your rather extraordinary cunning. Draco would never have been able to pull off something like that. If I didn't know better, I'd say you would have made a great Slytherin." His face had softened, but it became harsh again. "Just a reminder----if you ever mention this to anyone, I will deny it and you will most definitely suffer for not holding your tongue. You may go, Miss Granger." She gaped at him for a moment, stammered her thanks, and walked shakily to the door. Hermione had just reached for the handle when he stopped her once again.  
  
"Miss Granger?" she turned to see him tossing a dull object nonchalantly, and squinted in an attempt to see what it was. "I believe this may be of use to you. Doubtlessly you know what to do with it." He tossed it at her, and she caught it quickly as it sailed in her direction. Suddenly, the crystal came to life in her hands. She knew what this was. She looked up at Snape, and grinned mischievously. He didn't smile back, but the mirth shone in his eyes.  
  
"Perhaps Madonna is better suited to you, Miss Granger. If, that is, you're tasteless enough to be able to stand that sort of thing. Now go! And your essay had better be an extra six inches long when you turn it in on Monday." Hermione smiled, pocketed the glowing crystal, and ran to find Harry and Ron.  
  
Hermione and Ginny were the only ones who weren't surprised when, in the springtime, Professor Drake was seen showing a rather impressive diamond ring to the other female staff members, and the men were shaking hands enthusiastically with a very embarrassed Professor Snape. He spared a moment to look up at the two girls, and shared with them a secretive sort of smile. It was a once in a lifetime moment, and an expression they were never to see on Snape's face again.  
  
  
  
**NOTE** Well, that one is finished, which means that I can begin another! I hope you all liked it! Writing it was a blast, and such a power trip! It's quite enjoyable to have Hogwarts completely at my mercy. Anyway, hope you all had as much fun as I did. 


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